By Jackie:
One night Kerry had a blockage and we went to the emergency room. They kept her overnight and I stayed with her. She got out of the hospital and we thought it was all ok but she had another blockage shortly after that! Again we went to the hospital and again we stayed overnight! And there was yet another too! She had 3 blockages in the span of a month! I was there with her every time. From helping her during the initial pain to the decision to go to the emergency room and on to driving her there. I waited with her and even went back with her to see the doctor. I made sure she was taken care of. This time it was a hernia that caused the blockages and I had to listen and understand the doctors explaination that meant a surgery was in her future! Now I havn't ever had to go through this before and it was scary. It got even more scary when Kerry started telling what her wishes were just in the case of a bad outcome! Everyone knows surgery isn't pleasant and often can be a risky but nessessary procedure. I had to come to terms with my fears and stand by her stronger than ever! I am strong then and now but I admit that none of the assurances given to me by the doctors, nurses, relatives, my family, not even her reassurances that everything would be ok ever prepared me for what I was about to experience. I was stronger and self confident all the way up to the point of when they rolled her into pre op. My strength crashed. I really didn't conciously think of anything bad happening it was really a rush of blurred emotions. I spent lots of time pacing. I talked to people but didn't hear them. I was a mess. I would continue to be like this into she was out of the operation for her hernia. For even the strongest of people surgery is hard.
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